Outside Looking In - Jordan Pruitt

you don't know my name
you don't know anything about me
i tried to play nice
i wanna be in ur game
the things that you say
you may think i never hear about them
but word travels fast
im telling you to your face
im standing hear behind your back

you don't know how it feels
to be outside the crowd
you don't know what it's like
to be left out
and you don't know how it feels
to be your own best friend
on the outside looking in

if you could read my mind
you might see more of me then meets the eye
and you've been all wrong
not who you think i am
you've never given me a chance

you don't know how it feels
to be outside the crowd
you don't know what it's like
to be left out
and you don't know how it feels to be your own best friend
on the outside looking in

im tired of staying at home
im bored and all alone
im sick of wasting all my time.

you don't know how it feels
to be outside the crowd
you don't know what it's like
to be left out
and you don't know how it feels to be your own best friend
on the outside looking in

you don't know how it feels
to be outside the crowd
you don't know what its like
to be left out
and you don't know how it feels to be your own best friend
on the outside looking in

Distance Education Class ... Yet again.

Well here I am sitting at the last day of this lovely class. It's been a long road but a good educational one. I became very close to one of my distance classmates and predict a very nice friendship in the future. I have been very busy lately completing last minute assignments and chatting very regularly with a certain boyy :) But if you want to know about that.. ask me .. then I know if I had any blog visitors.. although I dont guarentee an answer :P

Bored

Well, here I am posting at 2:20PM on this cloudy, cold friday afternoon. It's supposed to be 20 degrees outside!! does it feel like it? NO! I can only ask whyy nottt =( I am regretting not taking socks and my croc wanna be's to Alex's last night. Funny story about last night, I was in a room with both Carl Urquhart and Kirk MacDonald and didn't even formerly introduce myself to either. go me! But yes, last night was the 7th annual awards banquet for the mccc (if you're not sure what that is, it's my co-op placement) Anyways! It was a blast I got to pass on great food and had a blast mingling and socialing with people like twice my age. It was a blast, even got my mother's present and a necklace out of it. woot woot. but yes, that is all the excitment i have for you considering sitting by this window is making me cold... and I wish to sleep after i find mr.k and straighten out my hours. peace out y'all!

In response to Dan's post...

This song's lyrics also hit me pretty different then others due to my loss in the past. When I first heard the chorus;

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

It reminded me of how the night before I lost my friend she wanted to go for one of our normal walks and blow off steam, but i was had other obligations to answer to in Nackawic. Now I know you're all thinking "It's not your fault" .. and I know that.. but I will always think of that and always wonder if taking a short walk with her that night might of changed the results just a little bit...

Where were you?

Read the following and really think...

Where were you when the world stopped turning

That September day?

Were you in the yard with your wife and children

Or working on some stage in L.A.?

Did you stand there in shock at the sight of that black smoke

Risin' against that blue sky?

Did you shout out in anger in fear for your neighbor

Or did you just sit down and cry?

-

Did you weep for the children who lost their dear loved ones

And pray for the ones who don't know?

Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble

And sob for the ones left below?

Did you burst out in pride for the red, white and blue

And the heroes who died just doin' what they do?

Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer

And look at yourself and what really matters?

-

Chorus:

I'm just a singer of simple songs

I'm not a real political man

I watch CNN but I'm not sure

I can tell The difference in Iraq and Iran

But I know Jesus and I talk to God

And I remember this from when I was young

Faith, hope and love are some good things He gave us

And the greatest is love.

-

Where were you when the world stopped turning

That September day?

Were you teaching a class full of innocent children

Or driving down some cold interstate?

Did you feel guilty 'cause you're a survivor

In a crowded room did you feel alone?

Did you call up your mother and tell her you loved her?

Did you dust off that Bible at home?

-

Did you open your eyes and hope it never happened

Close your eyes and not go to sleep?

Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages

Or speak to some stranger on the street?

Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow

Or go out and buy you a gun?

Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watchin'

And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns?

-

Did you go to a church and hold hands with some strangers

Did you stand in line and give your own blood?

Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family

Thank God you had somebody to love?

-

Chorus:

I'm just a singer of simple songs

I'm not a real political man

I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell

The difference in Iraq and Iran

But I know Jesus and I talk to God

And I remember this from when I was young

Faith, hope and love are some good things He gave us

And the greatest is love.

-

Chorus:

I'm just a singer of simple songs

I'm not a real political man

I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell

The difference in Iraq and Iran

But I know Jesus and I talk to God

And I remember this from when I was young

Faith, hope and love are some good things He gave us

And the greatest is love.

And the greatest is love.

And the greatest is love.

-

Where were you when the world stopped turning

That September day?...

-

-

-

Think about it

Lonely Girl - Pink

I can remember
The very first time I cried
How I wiped my eyes
And buried the pain inside
All of my memories
Good and bad that's passed
Didn't even take the time to realize

-
Staring at the cracks in the walls
'Cause I'm waiting for it all
to come to an end
Still I curl up right under the bed
'Cause it's takin' over my head
All over again

-
Do you even know who you are?
I guess I'm trying to find
A borrowed dream or a superstar?
I want to be a star
Is life good to you, or is it bad?
I can't tell anymore
Do you even know what you have?

-
Lying awake
Watching the sunlight
How the birds will sing
As I count the rings around my eyes
Constantly pushing
The world I know aside
I don't even feel the pain
I don't even want to try

-
I'm looking for a way to become
The person that I dreamt up
When I was 16
Oh, nothing is ever enough
Ooh, baby it ain't enough
For what it may seem

-
Do you even know who you are?
I'm still trying to find
A borrowed dream or a superstar?
Everybody wants to be...
Is life good to you, or is it bad?
I can't tell anymore
Do you even know what you have?
No

-
Sorry girl
Tell a tale for me
'Cause I'm wondering
How you really feel
I'm a lonely girl
I'll tell a tale for you
'Cause I'm just trying to make
All my dreams come true

-
Do you even know who you are?
Oh yeah, yeah
A borrowed dream or a superstar?
Oh, I wanted to be a star
Is life good to you, or is it bad?
I can't tell, I can't tell anymore
Do you even know what you have?
I guess not, oh, I guess not

-
Do you even know who you are?
Oh, I'm trying to find
A rising dream, or a falling star?
Oh, I have all these dreams
Is life good to you, or is it bad?
I can't tell anymore
Do you even know what you have?
Oh, no, no

-Fades-
Do you even know who you are?
A rising dream, or falling star?
Is life good to you, or is it bad?

----------------------------------------

Who knew I would be getting such powerful lyrics from Pink. I really enjoy the tune of this song and the chorus. I think it really represents how people get lost in their fantasy dream lands so far that they forget reality. Now people could also be lost into drugs or other things but I'm gonna stick to fantasy land. But yah.. I lost my train of thought in my surfing adventures so i'll try to post something more intelligent at a later time.

Rant

You know what I dont get... how a guy can go out with a girl older then him and get praise from his buddies and the same thing if he goes with a younger girl but on the girls end, she gets asked about why she's with a younger guy. This annoys me to bits! High School is a complete pain in a person's dating life... who cares! Age is age... as long as its legal and within a reasonable range... LEAVE THEM ALONE!

Somtimes you have to experience it to get it....

Well after a very interesting youth group last night I came home and sat down of course infront of the good old computer. What makes last night so different then any other night sitting infront of the lazy machine you may be asking, well I'm about to tell you. I began talking to a pal of mine that I met at my first eXalt conference and started talking to them about the upcoming conference in May. We eventually got into a HUGEE discussion about our deep personal lives and it became a lot more complicated then I entended the conversation to be. I never really understood why they were constantly telling us at camp that our own spirtual life had to be in check for us to effectly ... i dont know the word... hard to think of it with spanish iClass speaking into my ears.. but anywhos.. For us to effectly reach the kids we had to have our own spirtual lives in good condition. As I was trying to reach my friend last night I realized how hard it can be trying to convince them that they should go and get their life back on track when I dont even have my own life on track. After I left for the night I started thinking as I was changing for bed about how hard it must be for our youth leaders and our ministers. Trying to help us through our problems or seeing us take the paths of past friends, current friends or even paths that they took when they were our age. The whole experience of trying to minister to one of your own friends can really make you sit back and think .. a lot. Butt....... thats all the intelligence I have to put into this post for now... HERES YOUR POST DAN! :P